Sometimes when I can't seem to figure something out in my mind, or when I keep having negative thoughts about something or someone over and over, I write. I just write unhindered, not for others to see, but just whatever comes in my mind at that moment. Stream-of-consciousness writing.
I was doing some of this stream-of-consciousness writing the other day, trying to work through some troubling emotions. It was concerning feelings of rejection for not "measuring up" to someone else's unforeseen standards. As I was writing, after about a page and a half, the pen just wrote, seemingly by itself: "I am me and that is enough." I thought, "There it is! That's the answer I was looking for!" I felt an instant peace come over me with this new realization.
I continued the thought and wrote a little poem thing:
I don't need you to understand me to make me whole.
I am me, and that is enough.
I don't need to perform in hopes of gaining your favor.
I am me, and that is enough.
I don't need to work to be deemed worthy by you.
I am me, and that is enough.
It is enough for God.
It is enough for me.
Just me.
I am enough.
That's it. Coming to this realization somehow took away my anger and resentment toward this person, and also reminded me of the truth I read in a quote not long ago:
If you are your authentic self, there is no competition.