Thursday, May 3, 2012

Purple Flowers Hurt

One day I was riding alongside someone in their car, going shopping together for a special occasion.  It was a BEAUTIFUL day -- the sun was shining, the birds were singing -- and I felt great!  My relationship with this person seemed to be healing and going in a positive direction finally.  I was grateful as I realized this that day in the car.

So we're going along the highway, and I kept spotting these delicate, bright purple flowers, peeping up all over the grassy areas beside the road.  I thought how wonderful that something so precious and fragile and beautiful grows beside a dirty, busy highway -- especially since we were in New Jersey.  :)

I mentioned to the person driving how delightful it was to see those bright purple little flowers everywhere!  It was a kind of spiritual moment for me -- a state I live in and indulge in quite often.  So after I mention my joy to this person, they totally burst my bubble and say, rather rashly, "Wow, I see you don't get out much!"  Ouch. The sarcasm (which is disguised anger) bit me like a viper.  I realize words typed on a screen are difficult to decipher at times, but when hearing words in person, you hear the tone, the intention, and see the body language.  The intention that day, over 15 years ago, still stings when I see purple flowers.

Careless words hurt, but really it's the motive and intention that hurt, especially when spoken by someone close -- someone that you're hoping cares about you.  Words spoken by a close one are so much more damaging than from an acquaintance or a stranger because you have a history and a future with them.

But I keep reminding myself of the truth that the words someone speaks reveals more about their inner life, than it does about the person spoken to.  Then I allow myself to heal as I return to my peaceful state of being.  Until I see purple flowers again.  I see them all the time anymore.  But each time I see them, I heal a little more, and they take me to a deeper, calmer place.


  1. I'm sorry that someone spoiled the joy of reveling in the beauty of these flowers for you. As I'm reading this, Jimi Ann a part of me is wondering how many 'purple flowers' I created for others. A very powerful reminder of how our words can 'kill'. Thank you for sharing. ♥

    1. So true. If only we learned all the lessons needed the very first time around... I guess it wasn't so much the spoiling of my moment, as it was the temporary loss of hope for a restored relationship and the emptiness the words left.

  2. Hello.
    I love flowers and purple is one of my many favorite colors. How can one not enjoy their beauty? This post reminds me of the quote by Lao Tzu - "Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love." May you always return to that place of calm. Lovely post. Thanks for sharing.

    Thoughts Of Beauty In The Stillness Of Dawn...

  3. Barbed words certainly do sting us and the ache can last so long . . . this was a touching reminder to all of us of how we should watch both what we say and how we say it.
    So glad to know that you've come to the point through healing that you can enjoy the beautiful purple flowers once again.

  4. I'm not sure how true that old saying is, you know the one: Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you". Words to hurt and they can cut deep scars that if not identified with can cause devastating reactions years after the first impact.

    Sorry your moments was tarnished by the bitter response of your friend. I bet those flowers were amazing!

  5. Purple is my favorite color. So often we associate our pain to something else but you are right instead of doing that we should let them heal us instead. I am sorry that you were so hurt by someone's words. Words are so damaging especially when it comes from someone you care about. Take care Jimi.
    My latest poem.