Thursday, May 3, 2012
Purple Flowers Hurt
One day I was riding alongside someone in their car, going shopping together for a special occasion. It was a BEAUTIFUL day -- the sun was shining, the birds were singing -- and I felt great! My relationship with this person seemed to be healing and going in a positive direction finally. I was grateful as I realized this that day in the car.
So we're going along the highway, and I kept spotting these delicate, bright purple flowers, peeping up all over the grassy areas beside the road. I thought how wonderful that something so precious and fragile and beautiful grows beside a dirty, busy highway -- especially since we were in New Jersey. :)
I mentioned to the person driving how delightful it was to see those bright purple little flowers everywhere! It was a kind of spiritual moment for me -- a state I live in and indulge in quite often. So after I mention my joy to this person, they totally burst my bubble and say, rather rashly, "Wow, I see you don't get out much!" Ouch. The sarcasm (which is disguised anger) bit me like a viper. I realize words typed on a screen are difficult to decipher at times, but when hearing words in person, you hear the tone, the intention, and see the body language. The intention that day, over 15 years ago, still stings when I see purple flowers.
Careless words hurt, but really it's the motive and intention that hurt, especially when spoken by someone close -- someone that you're hoping cares about you. Words spoken by a close one are so much more damaging than from an acquaintance or a stranger because you have a history and a future with them.
But I keep reminding myself of the truth that the words someone speaks reveals more about their inner life, than it does about the person spoken to. Then I allow myself to heal as I return to my peaceful state of being. Until I see purple flowers again. I see them all the time anymore. But each time I see them, I heal a little more, and they take me to a deeper, calmer place.